Narcissism is a term often used in popular culture to describe someone who seems excessively self-centred or egotistical. The origin of the term is based on the story of Narcissus in Greek Mythology, however, in the realm of psychology, narcissism encompasses a range of behaviours and characteristics that can vary in severity. Understanding these nuances is crucial, especially if you or someone you know is affected by narcissistic behaviours.
Narcissus by Caravaggio: The painting depicts Narcissus gazing upon the water after falling in love with his own reflection.
Defining Narcissism
At its core, narcissism involves a grandiose sense of self-importance, a need for excessive admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. People who display Narcissistic traits often believe they are unique or superior to others and as a consequence of this, expect special treatment. This behaviour can manifest in various ways, from boastful and attention-seeking behaviour to more subtle forms of manipulation.
Narcissistic Traits vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Narcissistic Traits:
Many people exhibit narcissistic traits at different points in their lives. These traits might include a tendency to prioritise their own needs over others, a desire for recognition, or occasional arrogance. Individuals high on the narcissism spectrum might appear charming and confident, but their behaviour can become problematic when it consistently affects their relationships and daily functioning.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD):
NPD is a more severe form of narcissism that is recognised as a mental health disorder. Individuals with NPD exhibit persistent patterns of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. Their behaviour is often rigid and inflexible, leading to significant impairment in personal, social, and occupational functioning. Diagnosing NPD typically involves a comprehensive psychological evaluation. However, these individuals often do not seek help voluntarily.
Differences in Behaviours and Symptoms of NPD: Grandiose, Vulnerable, and Malignant Narcissism
Grandiose Narcissism
Behaviours:
- Exhibits overt confidence and superiority.
- Seeks constant admiration and validation from others.
- Often charismatic, charming, and self-assured.
- Dominates conversations and focuses on personal achievements.
- Displays a sense of entitlement and expects special treatment.
Symptoms:
- Inflated self-importance and grandiose fantasies about success and power.
- Lack of empathy for others; views them as inferior.
- Difficulty handling criticism; often reacts with rage or disdain.
- Prone to exploit others to achieve personal goals.
- Unrealistically high self-esteem.
Vulnerable Narcissism
Behaviours:
- Exhibits insecurity and sensitivity to criticism.
- Often appears shy, withdrawn, or introverted.
- Seeks validation but is prone to feelings of inadequacy.
- Experiences significant mood swings and emotional instability.
- Avoids situations where they may be judged or criticised.
Symptoms:
- Fragile self-esteem; oscillates between feelings of superiority and inferiority.
- Deeply affected by perceived slights or failures.
- Displays envy towards others and feelings of being misunderstood or unappreciated.
- Tendency to engage in passive-aggressive behaviours.
- Prone to anxiety, depression, and feelings of emptiness.
Malignant Narcissism
Behaviours:
- Exhibits antisocial behaviours and a lack of moral or ethical considerations.
- Highly manipulative, deceitful, and sadistic.
- Seeks power and control over others, often through intimidation or coercion.
- Displays extreme aggression and hostility.
- Enjoys the suffering of others and shows vindictive tendencies.
Symptoms:
- Paranoid tendencies and a belief that others are out to get them.
- Complete lack of empathy and remorse for harmful actions.
- Exhibits traits of both narcissistic and antisocial personality disorders.
- Engages in criminal or unethical activities without guilt.
- Pathological need for admiration coupled with deep-seated rage and hostility.
Differences Between Overt and Covert Narcissism
Overt Narcissism
Behaviours:
- Bold, attention-seeking, and extroverted.
- Openly displays arrogance and self-centredness.
- Actively seeks admiration and praise from others.
- Exhibits dominant, assertive, and sometimes aggressive behaviour.
- Often viewed as charming and charismatic, but can quickly become domineering.
Symptoms:
- High self-esteem and confidence that borders on delusional.
- A need for constant recognition and validation.
- Dismissive of others’ needs and feelings.
- Lack of empathy and tendency to exploit others.
- Reacts with anger or aggression to criticism or perceived slights.
Covert Narcissism
Behaviours:
- Introverted, shy, and appears humble or modest.
- Seeks admiration but is hypersensitive to criticism and rejection.
- Displays passive-aggressive behaviours and indirect aggression.
- Often feels misunderstood, unappreciated, and envious of others.
- Avoids the spotlight but harbours fantasies of grandiosity and superiority.
Symptoms:
- Low self-esteem and chronic feelings of inadequacy.
- Vulnerability to anxiety, depression, and other emotional distress.
- Deep-seated resentment and envy towards others' success.
- Tendency to internalise negative feelings and blame others for personal shortcomings.
- Displays a facade of humility while harbouring feelings of entitlement.
Overt narcissists are more visible in their behaviours, displaying overt arrogance and seeking constant admiration. In contrast, vulnerable and covert narcissists are more hidden, struggling with insecurity and sensitivity to criticism, often presenting as modest while secretly harbouring grandiose fantasies. Malignant narcissism is a more dangerous subtype, blending antisocial (psychopathic) traits with narcissistic behaviours.
Impact on Relationships
Narcissism can profoundly affect relationships. Those with high narcissistic traits may struggle with maintaining long-term relationships due to their self-centred behaviour. They may appear charming initially but often fail to sustain empathy and genuine emotional connections. In more severe cases, such as NPD, relationships can become toxic and abusive, with the narcissist manipulating and controlling their partner. On the more severe end of this abusive behaviour, the narcissistic person can assume control of their partner's finances, and push them away from other support networks such as family and friends - making it harder to leave the relationship. For more information on teh cycle of Narcissistic abuse, please read my blog post titled: What is Narcissistic Abuse?
Seeking Help
Recognising narcissistic behaviour is the first step toward addressing it. Therapy can be beneficial, both for individuals exhibiting narcissistic traits and for those in relationships with narcissists. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) and other therapeutic approaches can help individuals develop healthier ways of thinking and interacting with others.
Understanding narcissism is essential in navigating relationships and fostering mental well-being. Whether dealing with narcissistic traits or NPD, awareness and professional support are key to managing and mitigating the impact of narcissism.
If you are seeking help to manage a narcissistic relationships, whether that be a Narcissistic partner, family member, friend, or co-worker, please Get in Touch.
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